Bleed Out
by CateDouglas0986
Summary: Will's lies catch up to him, causing Natalie to end their engagement. As a result he's forced with facing the painful memories that proceeded his return to Chicago. Can he deal with his inner demons in order to show Natalie that he's serious about mending their relationship or is it a lost cause?


Author's note: I know what you all are thinking. Why is this crazy woman starting ANOTHER Will/Natalie story when she's already writing two at the same time?  
1) I like a good challenge

2) I am extremely unhappy with how this whole story line and relationship is being handled so I had to put my own twist on things.  
3) I've actually stopped watching ALL the Chicagos at the moment. (I watched a few of Fire and PD in the beginning this year.) I just can't deal with the back and forth shoddy writing. Sh*t or get off the pot. They're destroying two very important characters and half assing the storylines. We all know what is going to happen in the long run- Natalie and Will will wind up together after the writers put them through this ridiculousness and then they'll face some sort of tragic/dramatic storyline that will test their newly healed relationship.

With that being said, I did NOT watch last week's episode 2/13/19 and don't plan on watching any new episodes for the time being. My sanity is more important haha. So instead, all of my frustration is being poured into multiple stories in hopes that by the time the season finale comes along, I can resume watching Chicago Med without wanting to throat punch the writers. (No spoilers please!)

I hope you all enjoy this angst ridden, drama filled, romance story. I don't enjoy writing fluffy, lovey dovey stories, but I am the master of angst! Enjoy, read, and review!

* * *

_A strangled smile fell from your face_  
_It kills me that I hurt you this way_  
_The worst part is that I didn't even know_  
_Now there's a million reasons for you to go_  
_But if you can find a reason to stay_

_I'll do whatever it takes_  
_To turn this around_  
_I know what's at stake_  
_I know that I've let you down_  
_And if you give me a chance_  
_Believe that I can change_  
_I'll keep us together whatever it takes_

_~Lifehouse~ Whatever It Takes_

* * *

Will watched as Natalie drove away, the ring she had placed in his hand feeling as if it weighed one hundred pounds. His body stayed frozen in place, his brain unable to process what had just happened. Somehow his body managed to find its way to a bench outside the emergency department entrance. Will had no clue how long he sat there, staring blankly into the night's sky. He was so beside himself, he didn't sense Dr. Charles as the older doctor took a seat beside him.

" Dr. Halstead, what are you still doing here? I thought I saw you leave with Dr. Manning some time ago." The words fell deaf upon Will's ears as he watched cars drive up and down the busy street. The pair sat silently for a few moments before Dr. Charles stood up, pulling on his coat.

" Can I ask you something?" The words came flying out of Will's mouth unexpectedly.

" Of course," replied Daniel, sitting back down.

" Last summer...when you were shot…"

" Yes?"

" Were you...did you ever have the desire to protect yourself after it happened?"

" Are you asking if I ever considered purchasing a gun? Of course I did."

" Why didn't you?"

" While a gun could have physically protected me, it couldn't erase the demons I fought inside my head."

" One of the first things I did when I was in Phoenix was obtain my conceal and carry. I bought a gun. When I got back home...Natalie refused to let me back into the house with it."

" So I've heard."

" I almost got rid of it like she had asked. I love her and Owen more than anything in this world, including that gun."

" What stopped you?" enquired the elder doctor.

" I closed my eyes and all I could think about, all I could feel was that cool metal groove of the gun being pressed into my skull. That's a feeling I don't think I'll forget."

" You shouldn't. What you experienced was extremely traumatic. This is why we've ordered you to speak with someone about everything. You can't just walk around, bottling up all of that trauma inside. You think you can, but you can't. It's bound to eat you up from the inside out. It will destroy both your professional and personal life."

* * *

" It already has," Will confessed tearfully.

When my car was broken into this morning...I lied to Natalie and told her nothing was missing. Meanwhile I spent every free second I had trying to track down that gun without her finding out I still had it."

" I'm going to go out on a limb and guess she found out anyways."

" She did...and then gave this back to me," he said flatly, unfolding his hand to reveal his mother's wedding ring.

" Do you still love her?" Dr. Charles questioned.

" What kind of a question is that? Of course I do. I'll love her and Owen until the day I die."

" I think we both know what you really need to do." Will drew in a ragged breath.

" Why do you always have to be right?"

" I'm not always right, but often I do speak the truth."

" How do I...do you think she'll take me back?"

"That my friend is up to you."

" I was hoping for a more definable plan than that," Will scowled, clearly discouraged and heartbroken.

" First things first. Go to your therapy appointments. Therapy did wonders for me," Daniel shared, getting up once again, this time walking away to his car.

* * *

Early the next morning Will found himself waiting anxiously in his psychiatrist's office. He had already cleared the appointment through Sharon Goodwin who was more than willing to accomodate the sudden schedule change in the ED. Ethan had offered to come in an hour earlier- Will made a mental note to thank him. He nervously checked his Apple Watch, the minutes slowly ticking by. With every passing second, Will found himself becoming tempted to just walk out. This was stupid. He didn't need therapy. Will grabbed for his phone that was sitting beside him, tempted to text Ms. Goodwin and tell her he would rather take a leave of absence than go to therapy. He stopped suddenly, his heart dropping as the lock screen appeared. It was a picture of Will, Natalie, and Owen after they had gone sledding a few months ago. Suddenly Will found himself sitting back down, feeling desolate. Would they all ever be that happy again? Would Natalie let him back in despite all of the times he had lied to her?

" Dr. Halstead." Will's head popped up, finding his therapist standing in the doorway.

I'm glad to see you made the choice to come back and see me," she stated, leading Will into her office.

" If you don't mind me asking, what brought you back?" Will sighed as he sank into an overstuffed couch.

" Last night was the second worst night of my life," he confessed.

" How so?" asked the therapist.

" Natalie gave this back to me," Will said sullenly, placing his mother's ring on the table in front of him.

" She called off your engagement. Something must have led her to do so."

" She caught me in a lie. I told her I had gotten rid of my gun."

" I'm going to assume you didn't get rid of it?"

" Someone stole it out of my car yesterday. I spent most of the morning talking with the police trying to track it down. Natalie knew something was amiss and confronted me in the parking lot."

* * *

" That's when she gave you back the ring?" The question hung heavy in the air, Will feeling his stomach twisting in knots.

" Answer this for me. Had Natalie not given you the ring back or discovered your lies about the gun, would you be sitting here right now?"

" I think we both know the answer to that," Will replied bluntly.

" Then what brought you here? Other than the obvious that is."

" Natalie and Owen are my life. I can't imagine losing them. We both know there's thousands of places I'd rather be right now. I'm horrible at confronting my feelings. If I want the chance to keep them in my life, I have to do this."


End file.
